Chris Elliott

Chris Monsanto

Maria Thayer

Susan "Susie" Wagner

Brett Gelman

Brett Mobley

Jack Wallace

Captain

Pete Gardner

Dr. Gardner

Pat Healy

Sugalski

Leon Russom

D'Alessandro

Paz de la Huerta

Tess

Pat Towne

Darren Fischer

John Getz

Bernard Moss

John Cothran

Lamar Whitley

Mark Proksch

Craig Balmer

Terrence Evans

Grandy

Frank Smiley

America

Joe Estevez

Joe Estevez

Muse Watson

Quint Cussler

Michael D. Cohen

Spats

David Rees Snell

Gribbs

Sal Landi

Leo Prince

Gianni DeCenzo

Butch McCallister

Mary Grill

Trish

Jill Talley

Doreen

Connor Del Rio

Henry Moss

Marsha Kramer

Eleanor Moss

Graham Clarke

Kevin

Pete Antico

Dock Thug #1

Anthony N.

Dock Thug #2

Anthony Molinari

Dock Thug #3

Ralph Votrian

Narrator

Lou Volpe

Barber

Stewart Skelton

Coroner

Cesar Garcia

Perp

Paul Thomas Arnold

Leader

John Hafner

Hunky Man

Keith Gerchak

Lew

Paul Rae

Steve

Kate Enggren

Trampy Woman

Holland MacFallister

Wimpy Man

Tom Knickerbocker

Judge #1

Rico E. Anderson

Bank Man